Banaras Vali Masi

Banaras vali masi ka aaj aaya phone
Boli, beta bangalore mein hun, coming to see you soon

Athiti satkaar ki formaility mein mat padna, kehkar rakh diya phone
Darhasal dekhne aa rahi thi woh mujhe, kunki ek accident mein tudva chuka tha mein apni 3 bones

Masi ke sang milne ka record bada hi tha tang
Kabhi kabhi milta tha aur jhat se ban jata tha unki baaton ka vyang.

Masi thi gol matol ek dum maal daar,
Banaras mein tha unki samridhi ka bada bol baal.

Vyapar mein masi ne khoob kamaya tha paisa
Unki middle class behen ka mein iklauta suputr, milkar unse khud ko pata, sher ke saamne choohe jaisa

Masi ke bhi the do sapoot
Humesha se chalta unke beech competition, ki aakhir dono mein kaun hai zada mazboot

Jab bhi chalte mere sang
Bana lete the mere kamzor tan ko apni baaton ka vyang

Aata tha kabhi kabhi unpar mujhe bada krodh
Chodh ye to reeti hai ameeron ki, kehkar meri ma karti thi mujhe shaant hone ka anurodh

Oorja ka srot sa mujh mein jaga,haddiyon ke dard ka bhoolkar karhana
Socha kuch bhi karke aaj masi ko hai impress karke bhejna

Bangalore mein le liya tha ab ek ghar.
Apartment ke bahar khade gaurd ko maine kaha, 3 hathe katthe jeev aayenge, dekhkar unhe kehna welcome sir.

Masi ko impress karne ka plan jab maine room mate ko bataya.
Pagal hai, ladki vale aa rahe hain kya, kehkar usne mera mazaak udaaya.

Masi ke mere sang,bachpan mein kiye durvyavhar ki jab history sunai
Bhar aayi aanken mere dost ki, baith gaya dvaar pe mehmano ke intaazar mein, haath mein liye shehnai

Toote haath se ki ghar ki poori safaai
Reh rehkar, masi ko impress karne ki maine nayi nayi yojnayen banaayi

Khareedne laga mein anek vyanjan
Bhaiyon ki pasand na bhoola, kaha dukandaar se, pack karde 2 tandoori chicken

Mahaul sa tha ab laga jamne
Chetavni di dono room mates ko, Masi ameer hain, na aana fakeer bankar tum unke sammne

Masi ke pratishtha ki jab kahani suni,Dono ko meri baat badi jachi
Ghumaya gaal pe ustara, hero dikhne ki hudak ab unme machi

Bangalore ke best brand ki hum sabne shirt daali
Seediyon mein rakhe paudhe le aaye andar, taaki na lage ghar khali

Besabar hokar ab hum kar rahe the athitiyon ka intazaar
Achanak dekha ki apartment gate par khade hai 3 log, milta tha unka haathiyon se aakar

Aise vishaal kay jeevon ko dekh,
Apartment ke guard ke mun se nikli cheekh

Is se pehle ki woh unki aur ninda karta, aankh maarke maine use roka
Samajh gaya woh apni galti, lajja bhare mun se usne unhe salaam thoka

Khair flop ho gaya tha pehla plan
Jhunka neeche masi ke pair padne, unka aashirvaad liye bina, na milta aaj mujhe chain

Masi ne kheejte hue kaha,
Are gadhe, just say hi,kun sabke samne pair chooke tu meri khilli udaa raha

Hansne lage mere dono bhai
Yaad aa gaye bachpan ke din, jab milkar thi dono ne meri khoob bajayi

Chota vala bola,
Bhaiya kehte the na tumhe, haddiyan mazboot rakhni hain to khaya karo murga

Maine sharmindagi se mun jhukaya
Chupke se bheja dost ko sms, bhaiya shehnayi ka program na jaye zaya

Pahunche aage lift ki or,
Masi ne hi enter kiya sabse pehle door

Harsh poorvak maine dabaya third floor
Ki zor ki bell baji, weight overload

Hey ram,50 kilo ki tu hun mein, kehkar masi ne lift par zor ki laat maari
Masi ke aakar ko dekh, achcharyachakit hoke maine socha, aakhir kab se lag gayi inhe 2 se bhag karne ki bimaari ?

Khair jaise taise upar pahunche to suni kahin se aati hui murdani ki awaaz
Shehnayivadak ke naam pe dhabba, mera dost bhi nikla dagabaaz

Andar aayi masi to unhe dikha mera chamakta hua ghar
Boli, lagta hai dheere dheere mere kosne ka padne laga hai tujh pe asar

Rahat ki li maine aakhir saans
Chupke se doston ko kaha, program hit raha to rahees masi le jaayengi raat ko karaane kahin disc mein dance

Kursiyon par maine unhe bithaya
Masi ne kaha, teri gareeb ma ne tujhe kya sofa nahi dilaya

Hanste hue bhai ne nikali bag se ek Scotch ki botal aur kaha bhaiya get well soon
Pyaas lagi hai bahut, kholo ise nahi to pee jaunga tumhara khoon

Maine doston se mangvaaye 3 glass
Chothe bhai ne meri bisceps ko haath mein pakda aur bola, tum na match kar paoge kabhi humari class

Botal ko maine teen bhagon mein baanta
Are namard tu nahi peyegi, kehkar masi ne maara meri peeth par chaanta

Madira ka nahi kiya tha aaj tak kabhi paan
Par barabari jo karni thi bhaiyon ki, beech mein aa gaya aatm samaan

Maine jijhakte hue thodi si scotch maari
2 minute tak aaye chakkar aur phir ulti karke gandi kardi masi ki sari

Masi cheenk padi, boli namuraad, jheli nahi jati to kun pee
Dho lo na mummy sari, bola mere bhai aur saath mein mujhe kaha, are bhaiya tandoori par laga do thoda ghee

Bhaiyon ne poocha ,are bhai
Kya tumne bhoole se koi ladki pataayi ?

Bolta mein kuch, is se pehle masi muskayi
Boli, are namaradon ke haath na lagi kabhi lugaai

Nashe mein dhut,dono bhaiyon ko hansta dekh,mujhe aaya thoda krodh
Lagaya gaal pe ek ke thappad, aur kaha aaj se ye sab baatein chodh

Apne lal ka gaal hota dekh lal,Masi ne maroda mera kaan
Uthkar apne beton se boli, dikha do dono apne bahon ka kamaal

Ek ne pakda haath, doosre ne maari laat
Bole aage se aisa khayal bhi aaya, to dobara maarenge ek saath

Pita hua mein , zameen par pada tha lahu luhan
Masi ko gusse mein nikalta dekh, doston ne poocha, kya ghar par hi kar liya maasi ne tere sang Disco dance ?

Na chahte hue bhi ,sunai un dono ko maine poori katha
Disc to na mila, jaatey jaatey masi de gayi kavita likhne ki ek vajah

KALYUG KE RAM

Aaye the yahan, dil mein sanjoye kayi khwab
Badhenge sabse aage, jeb mein honge note hazaar

Nikle the college ke liye ,kabhi ghar se door
Vada tha ma ko ,naukri lagte hi rahenge saath zaroor

Roz roz poocha karti, kya khaya beta
Bhooka rehta tha pet, par keh diya mess mein aaj mila tha petha

Din se Hafte , Hafton se Mahine, Mahino se kuch saal ban gaye
Ghat ti rahi charbi par phir bhi gym jaane ki khabhar ghar par dete rahe.

Kabhi kabhi akele mein tha man rota,
Yaad aate the woh din jab bina ma ke thapthapaye, mein na tha sota

College ka aaya aakhri saal
Naukri mili to laga ki ho gaye malam maal

Ma ne poocha, Naukri ghar ke hi hai na paas ?
Maine samjhaya aakhir Ram ne bhi to kata tha 14 saal ka vanvaas


Sheher ki is badti bheedh mein thama diya hume bhi ek computer
Manager ne kaha, Haalath hi sab sikhayega, become your self tutor

Movies aur games ke liye humesha use kiya tha jo device
Pet isi se bharega, di hume kisi ne advice

To shuru hua 9 to 5 ka silsila
Raaste beshak the bahut hi durgam, par mein kabhi na finsla

Ma ka aaj bhi roz aata tha call, on my mobile
Gusse mein kabhi kabhi kaat deta, kehkar ki i am strengthening my profile

Hike hui, promotion mila,bhar di bonus ne jeb
Ghar par bataya to Ma ne diya aashirvaad par kaha beta ab to aaja, na kar tu mere sang fareb

Gaadi aayi, mila naya ghar ,
Office mein bhi ab logon ne kehna shuru kar diya, yes sir

Patni ko diye gift hazaar
Boodhi ma ko nayi sari dena ,ab laga mujhe bekaar

Phone ab aaya karte the kam
Maine bhi Ma ko keh diya ki , rehna hai ab yahin, na paal apne man mein tu koi bharam

Din se hafte, Hafton se mahine, mahino se ban gaye saal anek
Jeb mein tha paisa , ab celebrate kiya karta the Biwi bachon ke sang, US mein summer break

Pitaji ne ek din phone pe kaha ki ma ki nakhush hai tabiyat
Jaldi se tu aaja, di unhone mujhe naseehat

Mujhe laga ki ghar bulane ki thi ye koi prank
Maine kaha sabse achche aspatal mein le jao, bhej raha hun ek cheque blank

Ek din phir aaya phone, Ma ki aawaz mein tha dard
Lalkara mujhe kehkar ki tera banta hai kuch farz

Gusse mein pakdi agli flight
Na samajh saka mein Ma ki plight

Ghar pahuncha to dekha, bheed hai jami
Dheere se kisi ne kaha, aakhri waqt mein ma ko khali tumhari hi kami

Bhavnaon ke saagar mein doob, aankhon ke saamne dikhe ek ek paap jo maine kiye
Pados vali Moofat aunty ne kaha, are maar diya apni ma ko karam jale

Ma ne usi blank cheque ke peeche likhkar kiya apna dil-e-izhaar
Maaf kariyo mere laal, mein apne raam ke vanvaas khatam hone ka na kar saki intazaar

Ma ko dekha zameen par lete behosh
Lipta unke tan se , toot gaya meri aankhon mein chupa aansuon ka kosh

Daah sanskar kiya to yaad aaya khwaab
Kama liye the ab note hazaar , par kya sach mein yahi tha jeevan ka saar .

Meri nanni si beti ne cheque ke peeche dekha, to poocha
Papa kya Kalyug ke ram ka hota hai 24 saal ka vanvaas ?